FOOD is really only a secondary nourishment. Our PRIMARY food is our relationship with God and with others. I believe we need to focus more heavily on relational healthiness than on anything else. Do what is good with food – but really focus on the relationships with those significant people in your life. The first Person to grow close to is the Lord, the Lover of your soul.
Most of us who are aware of the detriments of attempting to co-dependently please others seek to grow away from people pleasing and into God-pleasing. This is how we rightly fulfill the call of Deuteronomy 6:4.
Trying to unhealthily please another person is related in some ways to trying to offer what only the Savior can. Attempting to be anyone else’s savior is sin (by default), and it will drain us completely. On the opposite end, trying to get our happiness from another person is also idolatry – these things can be so subtle and sneaky, staying under the radar for years – I know!
Our ability to first see and perceive what is going on is huge! It is the beginning in the journey of wholeness.
What is Jesus saying to you about your relationship with those closest to you?
What is Jesus directing you to let go of concerning your closest relationships?
(Don’t worry about HOW to do this – just…what do you hear.
What does Jesus tell you you will gain out of allowing Him to be the daily Savior and Lord?
What does He tell you are the burdens and drains that you get to SHED by releasing people-pleasing?
Some of the biggest lies the enemy has over us before we change an unhealthy relationship with someone are:
1) “I can’t handle the relationship if it changes”
2) “This person will not love me anymore”
3) “This person will be angry with me and never speak to me again”
4) “I can’t bear the outcome of my decision to release them – it will be too painful/unpleasant/guilt-inducing/etc.”
Most of these lies are rooted in the need to be loved and accepted, I’ve noticed! Thank you, Jesus for this insight!
So, you can see that, if you feel fear in breaking off codependent relating, it shows a need for more love from the Father. And, breaking off rejection, unloving spirits, and other related spirits of abandonment and fear.
The truth sets us free! And, the truth is, if a person is manipulating you and requiring you to be there for them (“or else”), then they were never really giving you love to begin with. In other words, you have nothing to lose – absolutely nothing to lose – in the way of authentic love. What you’re really craving – you can’t lose! Isn’t that SO GOOD!
What do you stand to lose? Depression that stems from being someone else’s savior. Anxiety and fear from people-pleasing. Stress and strain on the body. Fatigue. A weight on your soul. Feeling bad in your body. A restriction over your life and social life.
What do you gain? Peace and life. Love from the Father. Increasingly good health in your body. The ability to help the co-dependent friend or family member gain a healthy life for themselves! Rest. A lack of feeling rushed and hurried because of toxic relationships. Ability to love yourself better at the food level, at the relational level. Ability to attract a healthier spouse – remember, like attracts like, when it comes to emotional and spiritual health (and, usually in terms of physical health)! Boundaries that will translate into future relationships, bringing peace and sanity to all. The chance to model healthiness for your kids and/or those who learn from your life.
It’s never too late to grow and be transformed!